Back at King’s Landing, inside Renly Baratheon’s chambers. He is sitting, shirtless, with Loras Tyrell kneeling beside him shaving his chest. Loras is also shirtless.
Loras Tyrell: Lord Stark’s lucky he still has a head.
Renly Baratheon: Robert will rant for a few days, but he won’t do anything. He adores the man.
Loras Tyrell: You’re jealous.
Renly Baratheon: Are you sure this won’t hurt?
Loras Tyrell: Only if I slip.
Renly Baratheon: And you prefer me like this?
Loras Tyrell: Mhmm.
Renly Baratheon: If you want hairless, maybe you should find a little boy.
Loras Tyrell: I want you.
Renly Baratheon: My brother thinks that anyone who hasn’t been to war isn’t a man. He treats me as if I’m a spoiled child. Oh, and you’re not? Loras Tyrell, the Knight of the Flowers? How many wars have you fought in? Oh, and how much did your father spend on that armor of yours?
Loras Tyrell: Hold still.
Renly Baratheon: All I ever hear from Robert and Stannis is how I’m not tough enough, how I squirm at the sight of blood.
Loras Tyrell: You did vomit when that boy’s eye was knocked out in the mêlée.
Renly Baratheon:His eye was dangling out of the damn socket!
Loras Tyrell: He shouldn’t have entered the mêlée if he didn’t know how to fight.
Renly Baratheon: Easy for you to say. Not everyone is such a gifted swordsman.
Loras Tyrell: It’s not a gift. No one gave it to me. I’m good because I work at it — every day of my life since I could hold a stick.
Renly Baratheon: I could work at fighting all day, every day, and still never be as good as you.
Loras Tyrell: Yes well, I guess we’ll never know.
Finished with Renly’s chest, Loras raises his arm so he can shave his armpit.
Renly Baratheon: Everywhere?
Loras Tyrell: Everywhere. So how did it end up? The Targaryen girl will die?
Renly Baratheon: It needs to be done, unpleasant as it is. Robert’s rather tasteless about it. Every time he talks about killing her, I swear the table rises six inches.
Loras Tyrell: It’s a shame he can’t muster the same enthusiasm for his wife.
Renly Baratheon: He does have a deep, abiding lust for her money. You have to give it to the Lannisters, they may be the most pompous, ponderous cunts the gods ever suffered to walk the world, but they do have outrageous amounts of money.
Loras Tyrell: I have an outrageous amount of money.
Renly Baratheon: Not as much as the Lannisters.
Loras Tyrell: But a lot more than you.
Renly Baratheon: Robert’s threatening to take me hunting with him. Last time we were out there for two weeks, tramping through the trees in the rain, day after day. All so he can stick his spear into something’s flesh! Oh. but Robert loves his killing. And he’s the King.
Loras Tyrell: Hmm… How did that ever happen?
Renly Baratheon: Because he loves his killing and he used to be good at it.
Loras Tyrell: Do you know who should be King?
Renly Baratheon: Be serious.
Loras Tyrell: I am. My father could be your bank. I’ve never fought in a war before, but I’d fight for you.
Renly Baratheon: I’m fourth in line.
Loras Tyrell: And where was Robert in the line of royal succession? Joffrey is a monster. Tommen is eight.
Renly Baratheon: Stannis?
Loras Tyrell: Stannis has the personality of a lobster.
Renly Baratheon: He’s still my older brother.
Loras cuts Renly under his arm.
Renly Baratheon: What are you doing?!
Loras Tyrell: Look at it.
Renly Baratheon: You cut me!
Loras Tyrell: It’s just blood. We’ve all got it in us. Sometimes a little spills. If you become King, you’re going to see a lot of this. You need to get used to it. Go on. Look. People love you. They love to serve you because you’re kind to them. They want to be near you.
Loras Tyrell: You’re willing to do what needs to be done, but you don’t gloat over it. You don’t love killing. Where is it written that power is the sole province of the worst? That thrones are only made for the hated and the feared. You would be a wonderful King.
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