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The king too fat for his armor

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Ned separates from Barristan and enters King Robert’s tent. Lancel, Robert’s squire, is attempting to dress him in his armor.

Lancel Lannister: It’s made too small, Your Grace. It won’t go.

Robert Baratheon: Your mother was a dumb whore with a fat arse. Did you know that? Look at this idiot! One ball and no brains. He can’t even put a man’s armor on him properly.

Eddard Stark: You’re too fat for your armor.

Robert Baratheon: Fat? Fat, is it? Is that how you speak to your King? That was funny, is it?

Both Robert and Ned begin laughing. Lancel also starts to laugh.

Robert Baratheon: Oh, it’s funny, is it?

Lancel Lannister: No, Your Grace.

Robert Baratheon: No? You don’t like the Hand’s joke?

Eddard Stark: You’re torturing the poor boy.

Robert Baratheon: You heard the Hand. The King’s too fat for his armor! Go find the breastplate stretcher, now!

Lancel runs out of the tent.

Eddard Stark: The breastplate stretcher?

Robert Baratheon: How long before he figures it out?

Eddard Stark: Maybe you should have one invented.

Robert Baratheon: All right, all right. But you watch me out there. I still know how to point a lance.

Eddard Stark: You have no business jousting. Leave that for the young men.

Robert Baratheon: Why? Because I’m king? Piss on that. I want to hit somebody!

Eddard Stark: And who’s going to hit you back?

Robert Baratheon: Anybody who can. And the last man in his saddle… will be you!

Eddard Stark:There’s not a man in the Seven Kingdoms would risk hurting you.

Robert Baratheon: Are you telling me those cowards would let me win?

Eddard Stark: Aye.

Robert Baratheon: … Drink.

Eddard Stark: I’m not thirsty.

Robert Baratheon: Drink. Your King commands it. Gods! Too fat for my armor.

Eddard Stark: Your squire… A Lannister boy?

Robert Baratheon: Hmm… A bloody idiot… But Cersei insisted. I have Jon Arryn to thank for her. “Cersei Lannister will make a good match”, he told me. “You’ll need her father on your side.” I thought being King meant I could do whatever I wanted. Enough of this! Let’s go watch ’em ride. At least I can smell someone else’s blood.

Eddard Stark: Robert?

Robert Baratheon: What? Oh! An inspiring sight for the people, eh? Come! Bow before your King! Bow, you shits!

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King’s Landing

King's Landing is the capital, and largest city, of the Seven Kingdoms. It is located on the east coast of Westeros, overlooking Blackwater Bay. It is the site of the Iron Throne and the Red Keep, the seat of the King.




Robert Baratheon

Ned Stark

Lancel Lannister


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Game of Thrones Wikia

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